This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
