summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
