"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
