my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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