Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
