Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
