She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and she was petting her beer can
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
