I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
