I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
