You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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