I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
