I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He better not be in your backpack
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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