Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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