i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
