She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
