therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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