You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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