How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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