Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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