You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
