i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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