So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
