so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
