Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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