No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
