My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
COCAINE IS GR8
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
