wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
