I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
