Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
