Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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