The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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