i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
