Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
