I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Randomize
