We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
