This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
