Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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