Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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