I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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