Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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