and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
