I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
