i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
