these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
