i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
