this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You pole danced in your parka.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
