he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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