he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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