it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
