Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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