i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize