Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
