I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize