Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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