I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
