How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
