I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
