when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
