Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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