Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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