I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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